Don't shoot the messenger, But...

Looking back at my engagement, I think the lovey-dovey romance bubble was soon abruptly popped by the daunting realisation of what's involved in organising a modern wedding. I always thought myself to be of modest and simple taste but it soon became clear that even a "modest" wedding wasn't without its share of tasks. To all Brides-to-be, it's okay: you're not the only one tersely flipping pages of wedding magazines. We've all been there and sadly, there will be many more brides to follow.

In the first few weeks, I found myself dreading talking to anyone who'd already gotten married. The women always mentioned something that I hadn't thought of, ie don't forget to organise a trial for your hair & make-up, don't forget to organise a will before your honeymoon, don't forget to wear in your wedding shoes; The men would just roll their eyes and groan and complain about the ridiculous costs of wedding and offer suggestive cost-cutting tips. At first, I wasn't phased. See, I was under the delusion that the responsibilities of organising a wedding would be equally shared between me and my beau. That was, until I was kindly enlightened by Troy, that the man's job is to nod and fork out the money while the woman's job was to see to the nitty-gritty details. I was expressly warned not to expect any decision-making from my fiancée, as doing so might cause Craig to have a coronary.

I was nearly on the verge of having an anxiety attack. Here I was in BrisVegas, trying to plan a wedding that involved my Irish-Chinese relatives, friends from Cairns, Craig's family and friends from Coffs Harbour - mostly by myself. In my bouts of insanity, I was tempted to consider either eloping or renouncing all worldly life and possibly becoming a nun...

Thankfully, my mother, being the ever-sensible woman she is, came swiftly to my rescue. As always, she wasn't summoned but like a magical fairy, knew her services was needed. While I don't recall the exact words that transpired, I got the gist that everything would be okay. And yes, they are okay. I am coping with wedding planning... and miraculously, I've been very fortunate. My best friend offered to make my wedding cake. My mum evolved to become my "unofficial" Wedding Planner, producing invitations, place cards, centre pieces, co-ordinator of the bridesmaids, aka my three sisters. Our friend Hayley, a local artist from Cairns, was called in to paint butterflies for the wedding. My friend Meg offered to be my chauffeur and runner. And with all these generous offers, my anxiety dissipated as I realised, this wedding was never going to be a one person affair.

Weddings aren't just about the couples, or their families, or even their friends. An entire community is coming together, made up of strange and assorted people that might only have a friendship with the Bride and Groom in common. It's both scary yet beautiful. Weddings somehow transgress cultural and social boundaries in this bizarre celebration of love.

To all you fellow Brides-to-be, I challenge you to join my quest. Let's try and avoid the pitfalls of over-zealous brides, planning every detail of the wedding down to the last atom. If you must plan something, at least leave some room in your wedding for randomness. I'm looking forward to the things that are going to go wrong. The way I see it, it's unexpected entertainment for my amusement. And I'm damned if I'm not going to enjoy myself on my own wedding day. And don't forget to give your helpers some creative freedom. Trust me, you might be surprised to learn that they end up doing stuff a lot better than you would have (which I realised when I saw my mother's awesome invites compared to my own vague concepts). And if you really are having trouble loosening up, then satisfy your "control urges" by buying one of those wedding planner check lists. It's very therapeutic to tick off a completed task, knowing that's one less thing to do :D

Good luck, and hey, stop tearing your hair out.

Love, Demi.