Chinese Traditions: Picking up of the Bride

You can watch the video to see what happened during our Traditional Bridal Pick-Up or if you like, read on and check out our photos. Better yet, why not do both? Enjoy!

My mother's Chinese family have always maintained strong traditions and customs, despite migrating to Malaysia. Therefore, it was only natural that these traditions and customs came with us in our migration to Australia. Since it's not often that a Chinese wedding occurs in the land of Oz, I thought it would be nice to go through some of our family traditions.


The evening before a Chinese wedding, there are normally two separate parties; one at the home of the Bride's parents and another at the home of the Groom's parents. The day of the wedding, the Groom formally picks up the Bride, which signifies her passage from her parent's household to that of the Groom's. This is why Craig had to fly up to Cairns to formally pick me up from my parent's home. It was also a great opportunity for our friends such as the Cairns Chinese Community to have an awesome party!

The night was kick-started by a Lion Dance performance, in which all 5 of my siblings were involved! They made up the lion team as well as the musical ensemble, which made it all the more special. Craig and I were truly honoured by the special performance and I think my Mum's guests enjoyed the show just as much as we did.

After a meal of not-so-traditional Roast Meat & Vegies (which was absolutely scrumptious by the way!), I was whisked away and locked up in our family home. Craig was then challenged by each one of my siblings to respectively test his Stamina, Style, Strength, Brains, Skill & also his Dedication towards me.

Craig had to contest my youngest brother, Aidan (aged 7) in the area of Stamina. This involved racing each other around the pool and at the finish line, using a bowling ball to knock over as many pins as possible. Craig was very crafty though and at the very start of the race, picked Aidan up and carried him around the pool as he went! By the time he put Aidan down, Craig had enough time to get to the bowling ball and knock down the pins. Therefore, Craig was declared successful in the first challenge. For his efforts, he was given a 'letter', which would be a clue as to where the key to the house was being hidden.

The next challenge was against my sister Siobhan (aged 13), to see who had the best sense of style. This was going to be an interesting contest as Siobhan is renowned in our family for her Tom-Boy ways and lack of style. Two volunteers were selected from our guests so Siobhan had to dress Rachel, and Craig had to dress Noah. Despite their rather interesting choices of "style", the guests declared Craig the winner with loud cheers! At this point, it became quite clear that the guests were going to be favouring Craig, hehe. Thus, he won the second letter of his clue. Meanwhile, I was eagerly enjoying the entire spectacle through the kitchen window & the security screens of our front door!

The third challenge was undoubtedly one of my favourites. Craig had to vs Erin (aged 15) in the area of strength. To do so, they had to battle each other doing push ups. This was never going to be easy for Craig because Erin is physically very petite and light, yet strong in her upper strength. She was capable of doing handstands, back-flips, and up to 20 consecutive push-ups. Much to my dismay, Craig only got as far as 10 push-ups!

For failing this challenge, Craig was made to eat one of his most hated foods: celery. Needless to say, he wasn't thrilled! However, it wasn't an entire loss. After eating the celery as punishment, Craig was given another letter to help him solve the clue.

So Craig was up to the fourth challenge of Brains, which was a game of Connect 4 with Sharlene (aged 18). However, Sharlene has a reputation in our family for being Queen of Connect 4! Craig sweated a bit through this one and even had trembling hands, although he claims it was because of the push-ups. The guests eagerly helped him with his strategy but Sharlene proved too hard to beat and Craig lost! So with much regret, he had to eat more celery. Poor Craig...


Next up was Mickey (aged 21), who tested Craig in the area of skill. They had to get as many shots into the basketball hoop with a time limit of 60 seconds. It was here that Craig really shone, beating Mickey 6:5. The guests were eagerly cheering both boys on and it was really fun to watch. By this point, Craig had challenged all 5 of my siblings but my family wasn't finished with him yet. He still had to prove his Dedication!


For the challenge of Dedication, strips of coloured paper were passed around to the guests. My mum gave a demonstration of how to fold the strips of coloured paper, into an origami paper heart. The guests had to help fold as many origami hearts as possible, so that Craig could fill up a little champagne glass. If my family deemed it suitably filled, then Craig passed the test of dedication. The guests were very enthusiastic and keen to start folding. It didn't take long to fill the glass and that's how Craig won the last letter to the clue.

Craig was swift to solve the clue, which happened to be the fridge. After much searching, he was able to find the key to the house but wait, my family wasn't done with him just yet! My three sisters barred the way to the door, demanding bribes before he was allowed to pass. This is very common in Asian families so Craig had to fork out some $$. However, he wasn't about to hand money over for free! Craig had a variety of Chinese Red packets, in which some had $20 notes while others had fake money or gold scratchy tickets. This highly amused the guests and the Aussie sense of humour was much appreciated. After bribing my sisters, he was finally allowed to open the door to the house and release me!

This concluded the formal process of picking me up from my parent's home. That same night however, we also had a "hair-combing" ceremony, which signifies the Bride officially entering adulthood and leaving her parent's household. So I had to have a shower and wear a fresh pair of pyjamas for the hair-combing ceremony. My hair was combed four times, signifying for example the parting from my parents. A flower comb was also placed in my hair.


Following this, we also had the official tea ceremony. Craig and I served sweet date tea to my parents and the elders of my Mother's family, as a sign of respect. Sweet date tea is served, as it symbolises the hope that the couple will have a sweet life together. After serving tea to our elders, it was then my siblings' turn to serve tea to Craig and myself, since we were their elders. In this way, the family welcomed us as a new couple.


As you can see, there was a lot happening that night! However, we had a lot of fun and by the end, Craig was still grinning. Phew! It was really lovely, especially when the night concluded with the making of a Chinese dessert. We rolled glutinous flour balls and filled them with rock sugar, which were then boiled and served with sweet syrup. It was a true family reunion and our thoughts were with all our family, from Ireland all the way to Malaysia, and throughout all of Australia. So despite the length of this blog, I hoped you found it fun to read and maybe even interesting! It certainly made our wedding journey truly special, unique and unforgettable. For more photos of the evening, just visit this link.


Yours truly,
Demi & Craig.