When you flick through various Bridal mags, they all like to suggest that the perfect means to "relax" is to go for a pampering session. But to be honest, the whole facials thing has been more of a chore than a relax session. I remember how stunned I was when the Beautician suggested that I consider some face peels to help "clean out my pores". I thought those things were an option when you hit 50+. Apparently not. It's perfectly normal for brides to have a few layers of dead skin eaten away before the big day. Uh... how about No! I compromised with 3 regular facials spread out over the last year. Anything more seriously feels like overkill.
So what am I doing instead to chill? Well I've been doing a combination of Yoga & Pilates, partly to help tone up but mostly to relieve all the muscular aches & tensions from work. I've found this very helpful and refreshing. I'm very comfortable and at ease when I do stretches and breathing exercises.
And as unorthodox as it sounds, I escaped to Chenrezig Institute for the weekend. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a Buddhist Retreat Centre in the Sunshine Coast. I received a refresher on my daily Buddhist Practice and I know with full confidence that this is what's going to help me survive the Wedding Madness. I'm already plotting to move my Buddhist Altar into a separate room (where I know no one will dare to venture) so that I can have some privacy when my family comes down. If all goes well, I will start the Big Day with a meditation so that whatever happens, I'll be grounded and prepared. You'll probably never see this suggested in any Fandangled Bridal Mag. But it's an absolute essential for any practising Buddhist. So all you Buddhist Brides-to-be, take note! Don't neglect your practice on the days leading up to your wedding and especially on your wedding day. We're gonna need all the clarity, calm & spaciousness possible so start meditating!
With Love,
Demi.
So Ladies, I had my final dress fitting on Saturday and you won't believe what I saw in the mirror. I got a glimpse of the big day and I'm absolutely relieved to say that I'm in love with the dress! A small part of my mind has been somewhat neurotic, paranoid that all those pretty pictures in the glossy magazine weren't actually attainable by the ordinary bride. I was having trouble settling my doubts, especially during the hair & make-up trials. My brain was having big issues trying to visualise every-day "Me" transformed into a natural glowing bride. Little did I realise, my missing ingredient was a dress!
And what a dress it is! I went up to Cairns to go dress shopping because I really wanted to do this with my Mum and three sisters. In true Cairns style, the bridal store wasn't in town but an hour's drive south of Cairns, in a small town called Tolga. I never expected to find a bridal bouquet in a remote farm house but it was pretty quaint in its own way. Irene and her girls were fantastic. There was no unnecessary buttering up of the Bride-to-be but frank honesty and a great sense of Aussie humour. It was a lot of fun playing dress-ups but gorgeous dress after dress, I still hadn't found the right one. Mum and I were about to call it quits for the day but then, I noticed one last dress on the rack and seeing as we'd just about tried on every other dress, suggested that we give it a go. The dress hadn't really caught my eye from the beginning because it seemed a little plain on the rack. The first thing that happened when I put on the dress was that my Mum exclaimed, "That's the one!" And I couldn't have agreed more. The A-line dress was a great balance between detailed lace & simplicity - exactly what I had in mind. It isn't disgustingly elaborate but it's got the right amount of class, romance and relaxation. The dress was originally strapless (which I wasn't keen on) but then Irene made my day because it turns out you can order more of the Dress' original lace. She's making me a Bolero (for those of you still slow on the lingo, this is the shoulder jacket you sometimes see over the bridal gowns) which will help to show off my neckline and hide any horrible fleshy spill-overs (Ew). And that's the story of how I found my dress.
Now I'm sorry that I can't show you any pictures (knowing my luck, Craig will accidentally stumble onto the blog) so you're just gonna have to wait till the wedding. However... I couldn't resist showing off the headpiece! This was handmade by Irene's daughter and it's absolutely stunning. I'm really looking forward to wearing it on the day :D So enjoy the eye candy. All you Disney Princesses, eat your heart out!
Looking back at my engagement, I think the lovey-dovey romance bubble was soon abruptly popped by the daunting realisation of what's involved in organising a modern wedding. I always thought myself to be of modest and simple taste but it soon became clear that even a "modest" wedding wasn't without its share of tasks. To all Brides-to-be, it's okay: you're not the only one tersely flipping pages of wedding magazines. We've all been there and sadly, there will be many more brides to follow.In the first few weeks, I found myself dreading talking to anyone who'd already gotten married. The women always mentioned something that I hadn't thought of, ie don't forget to organise a trial for your hair & make-up, don't forget to organise a will before your honeymoon, don't forget to wear in your wedding shoes; The men would just roll their eyes and groan and complain about the ridiculous costs of wedding and offer suggestive cost-cutting tips. At first, I wasn't phased. See, I was under the delusion that the responsibilities of organising a wedding would be equally shared between me and my beau. That was, until I was kindly enlightened by Troy, that the man's job is to nod and fork out the money while the woman's job was to see to the nitty-gritty details. I was expressly warned not to expect any decision-making from my fiancée, as doing so might cause Craig to have a coronary. I was nearly on the verge of having an anxiety attack. Here I was in BrisVegas, trying to plan a wedding that involved my Irish-Chinese relatives, friends from Cairns, Craig's family and friends from Coffs Harbour - mostly by myself. In my bouts of insanity, I was tempted to consider either eloping or renouncing all worldly life and possibly becoming a nun...Thankfully, my mother, being the ever-sensible woman she is, came swiftly to my rescue. As always, she wasn't summoned but like a magical fairy, knew her services was needed. While I don't recall the exact words that transpired, I got the gist that everything would be okay. And yes, they are okay. I am coping with wedding planning... and miraculously, I've been very fortunate. My best friend offered to make my wedding cake. My mum evolved to become my "unofficial" Wedding Planner, producing invitations, place cards, centre pieces, co-ordinator of the bridesmaids, aka my three sisters. Our friend Hayley, a local artist from Cairns, was called in to paint butterflies for the wedding. My friend Meg offered to be my chauffeur and runner. And with all these generous offers, my anxiety dissipated as I realised, this wedding was never going to be a one person affair.Weddings aren't just about the couples, or their families, or even their friends. An entire community is coming together, made up of strange and assorted people that might only have a friendship with the Bride and Groom in common. It's both scary yet beautiful. Weddings somehow transgress cultural and social boundaries in this bizarre celebration of love.To all you fellow Brides-to-be, I challenge you to join my quest. Let's try and avoid the pitfalls of over-zealous brides, planning every detail of the wedding down to the last atom. If you must plan something, at least leave some room in your wedding for randomness. I'm looking forward to the things that are going to go wrong. The way I see it, it's unexpected entertainment for my amusement. And I'm damned if I'm not going to enjoy myself on my own wedding day. And don't forget to give your helpers some creative freedom. Trust me, you might be surprised to learn that they end up doing stuff a lot better than you would have (which I realised when I saw my mother's awesome invites compared to my own vague concepts). And if you really are having trouble loosening up, then satisfy your "control urges" by buying one of those wedding planner check lists. It's very therapeutic to tick off a completed task, knowing that's one less thing to do :DGood luck, and hey, stop tearing your hair out.Love, Demi.
